| | Strange how sometimes things can be so different yet feel completely the same. I can't get over it. Like, even though I drove across the country to California, I don't feel that far away from home or my friends. And even though I live in a different house with different people, it doesnt feel out of the ordinary.
I'm not entirely sure what I was expecting when I came to California, but not this. Guess I havent decided exactly how I feel about it all. Not bad, but I can't help but feel like theres more. I dunno. When I was in Maryland, I couldnt wait to get out to California. It was gonna be a big adventure and the beginning of something new. "You carry with you a sense of purpose, even when you're sitting there in the lawn chair out front of Deitle's, and it makes people curious. If you've ever wondered why you get lots of attention, it's because of that quiet riot in your eyes that other people pick up on. A tiny glimmer of the California coast-line in your thousand-mile stare." I feel like now that I'm here, my gaze has shifted and its no longer California that flickers in that 'thousand-mile stare'. I dont know whats in its place though. "I guess I havent been enough places to know where my favorite spot is." Maybe thats the case. Maybe I'm just a little homesick. Maybe California was a pit stop. Maybe I left a part of me behind. Maybe this is just the beginning.
Maybe the reason it doesnt feel so different is cuz I've gotten so used to rotating through different circles of friends. I'm used to going long periods of time without seeing certain people cuz I'm used to them going off to school. Everything seems so familiar. Almost. Can't explain it. Just... somethings not finished. Somethings missing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not unhappy. Things have been great so far and I've been having fun. Just... like i said. Somethings missing.
Meh. Maybe its nothing. Maybe I just have to give it some more time. |
| | Posted 9/19/2007 11:27 PM - 2 Views - 2 eProps - 2 comments
- recommend
  - recs0
- share
- email
 - sent0
|
